“…great co-parenting can blossom after you tear your marriage apart. Sometimes it’s the marriage that suffocates the great parenting partnership–once freed from marital ties that bind, you can be the parenting team you’d always hoped you’d be as spouses.”
Pamela Cytrynbaum’s article, “Divorce Diaries: 2014 Co-Parenting New Year’s Resolutions” (psychology today.com blog 12/29/13) contains 10 practical recommendations that can help divorced parents work together. Her advice includes ideas that each parent is able to do on his/her own: “Respect Time (Even if you don’t respect your ex): Don’t be late for drop offs and pick ups. If you say you’ll call by 8, call by 8.”
She also has recommendations that involve both parents. For example, when one parent communicates with the other parent, ” ‘Use ‘I’ statements, not ‘You’ statements. For example, ‘I feel stressed when I haven’t heard from you and you are an hour late dropping off the kids,’ instead of ‘You are such a jerk about being late.'”
Pamela Cytrynbaum recommendations have short and often humorous labels (e.g. “Eyes on the Prize” and “Watch Your Face.”) However, parents who follow her advice will realize longterm real benefits as effective co-parents.
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